Profanity in Programming
Written by Adrian Pavone
It looks like google has created a code searching aspect to the good old GoogleBot, which can be accessed by going to http://codesearch.google.com/. It looks like this has been around for some time, and I just haven't been paying attention.
Codeulate has published a post named F*cking programming, which illustrates some of the sweat and blood that programmers have to release in order to get their programs to work. Their post can be viewed here.
Some highlights:
(This is all one program)
…
* IT A ‘PLOT’ COMMAND, (HE’S PLOTTING AGAINST US)
…
* PRINT STATEMENT, LET’S OUTPUT SOMETHING SO HE WON’T GET UPSET
* WHILE STAREING AT THE TUBE WONDERING IF WE DIED
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* IT’S AN ‘INPUT’, LETS GIVE HIM A CHANCE TO DO SOME TYPING.. BUT
* KEEP AN EYE ON HIM, IN CASE HE TRY’S TO PUT SOMETHING OVER ON US
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* LOOK’S LIKE HE CAN’T EVEN ENTER A SIMPLE NUMBER, CLEAN UP ANY STACK
* HE MAY HAVE USED, AND LET HIM TAKE ANOTHER BLIND STAB AT THE KEYBOARD
…
* DIMENSION, HE WANTS SOME ARRAY SPACE.. I SUPPOSE WE SHOULD GIVE IT TO HIM
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* EITHER HE’S TRIED TO INDEX A NON-ARRAY VARIABLE, TRIED TO INDEX A CHARACTER
* VARIABLE WITH A VALUE GREATER THEN 34, OR HE’S PLOTTED OUTSIDE OF THE SCREEN
* NO MATTER WHAT HE’S DONE, GIVE HIM A NASTY MESSAGE SO HE WON’T DO IT AGAIN
…
* IT’S A ‘USR’ COMMAND, FIND OUT WHAT HE WANT’S, PASS CONTROL TO
* HIS MACHINE LANGUAGE ROUTINE, AND GOD HELP HIM IF HE SCREW’S UP
* BECAUSE WE CAN’T DO ANYTHING FOR HIM UNTIL HE RETURNS
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* IF WE GET HERE, HE MADE IT BACK IN ONE PIECE
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* IT’S AN ‘ORDER’, (HE THINKS HE KNOWS WHERE THERE IS SOME DATA)
…
# This job would be fucking great if it wasn't for the customers.
/* if we get here, there are massive fucking problems, for a start
* our stack is fucked up, and we can't return(). Just crash out. */
# Note to self: I have no idea what this does anymore
# It looks like a cool fucking segment of code though!
# I just wish I remembered writing it... :-\